39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist

Here’s an article that Via caught at http://www.dumblittleman.com/ which she decided to forward to me.

I decided to make my own notes in each item provided by the author.

1. Love. I’m already in love with my beloved husband. But a successful 10 years doesn’t guarantee eternal bliss. There would always be “idle” moments. I plan to fall in love again. With the same person I first fell in love with. Mhark, brace yourself! ^-^

2. Get outside. Saturdays and Sundays shouldn’t be spent at home. Mhark, that should change. I plan to go to Trinoma this weekend and explore it. I want to go about Intramuros and take pictures of it. I’d also spend quality time with my nephew and niece in Almanza.

3. Savor food. I’ve always felt that eating is an obligation so I tend not to enjoy it. The article made me realize that I have been missing a lot for eating too hurriedly. I’ll start to savor the taste of the food that I will eat starting this moment. Bon appetite to me! ^-^

4. Create a morning ritual. Since I wake up really late and I am not able to catch the sunrise anymore, maybe I will settle for another morning ritual. I plan to recite the rosary every morning. What a great way to start the day! ^-^

5. Take chances. Talking about taking chances, I want to try my luck in business. I’d probably also go into becoming a part-time real property consultant. With my charm? I’d probably sell tons of properties. ^-^

6. Follow excitement. It would be exciting to try SCUBA diving. (I envy Via…) Another thing that makes me excited is becoming pregnant. 2008 is the perfect year!

7. Find your passion. I have long known my passion and that’s journalism. I need to get some workshop in journalism, though. It’s the one thing that I have always planned to do but have never found the time and opportunity to pursue.

8. Get out of your cubicle. How I miss Dessa and our daily “dog walk” at Robinson’s. I’m just so glad that I was able to bring Via out of the building to buy food. It was the first time! And hope not the last…

9. Turn off the TV. Yes, I realized how television wastes my time. I’ve already cut the time I spend on tv. The only problem? My cyber addiction. Now, that’s another item.

10. Pull away from Internet. This is my biggest guilty pleasure. I need to develop control over this latest addiction. I need to cut down the time I spend blogging and surfing to two hours per day. Will I make it?

11. Travel. Destinations? Let’s start with Vigan and Sagada. Second Stop: Bohol, Cebu and Iloilo. Third Stop: Puerto Galera. Fourth Stop: Davao, Camiguin and Cagayan de Oro all in one trip. In three year’s time, I’d go for endless trips abroad – Asian cruise, European cruise and US tour. I’d bring Mhark with me, of course.

12. Rediscover what's important. These past few years, I have focused on the “side tracks” and lost track of the main road. That is bound to change. This weekend, I will spend time to search my soul and I’ll list down the five things that I consider most important in my life.

13. Eliminate everything else. Yes, I will eliminate first my anger toward my in-law family. After all, they are also my family, whether I like it or not. But maybe, it will take time for me to restore the love I used to give them.

14. Exercise. Yup. I need to exercise to get rid of my menstrual cramps. And also to get rid of the flabs that’s building in my abs.

15. Be positive. I should learn to recognize the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints and the reasons why I can't do something. Then, I should stop myself from dwelling too much on these thoughts. I must replace them with positive thoughts at once!

16. Open your heart. Heartaches from the past have made my heart become more careful about showing how I feel. It’s time to open again my heart to loving others unconditionally, without the paranoia that I am being used or something.

17. Kiss in the rain. The last time I got crazy in the rain with Mhark was more than 9 years ago. Can you imagine? I want to be crazy again. And since it’s the rainy season, watch out, Mhark for surprises that are bound to come your way.

18. Face your fears. My biggest fear? To feel a snake’s skin! To face that fear, I will go to Avalon Zoo and hold a snake in my arm. It’s safe because I heard the snakes there are not venomous.

19. When you suffer, suffer. Yes, I had been to this state lately. A lot of things to grief for have crossed my path. Good thing I have my family and friends who aided me through the ordeal. Thanks, guys! What I realized after suffering a great deal is that I became wiser and stronger!

20. Slow down. These past few days, I’ve always been on the run. I eat my brunch while on my way to work. It’s like I’m running and running but no one was running after me. Hahaha! It’s time to slow down. Savor the moments…

21. Touch humanity. I have enrolled myself to a charity group headed by Bo Sanchez and have pledged to send a small amount every month but I haven’t started giving yet. It’s been 6 months now and I haven’t given any amount yet. I felt so guilty. I’ll start sending my monthly pledge on Monday. That’s a promise!

22. Volunteer. I also plan to make time to spend a day of my week doing volunteer works for that charity. I still have to establish my contact, though. I hope to start it before July ends.

23. Play with children. I love to play with children. But it has been three years since I had played with the children. I left them in my hometown, Naga. Now that I have my nephew and niece to look after, I can go back to my favorite pastime: playing with kids!

24. Talk to old people. I have missed talking to my dad. Eversince stroke got him, I lost a teacher. I have to look for another elder whom I can have an intelligent talk with. I think I just found one – my Auntie Eliz! I will suggest a monthly date with her. I hope she agrees.

25. Learn new skills. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. It’s never too late to learn a new trick, right? But first, I need to buy a guitar!

26. Find spirituality. I have found it when I got depressed due to my feud with my in law family. Although it has always been in me, I realized that being busy with a lot of things stagnate my spirituality.

27. Take mini-retirements. Yes! Travel… travel… travel! World, prepare for our invasion!

28. Do nothing. This, I guess, is the hardest of all. I can’t imagine myself being silent for a long time, unless I’m asleep. It’s weird because many complain that I talk even in my sleep! Hahaha!

29. Stop playing video games. I play video games only when I’m with my nephew, Vince. It’s fun to play once in a while. What I think I should also cut is oversleeping. I have to wake up and work for my dreams! ^-^

30. Watch sunsets, daily. Sunsets. I always miss it because it is the time that I get so engrossed with work. Maybe I will find time on weekends.

31. Stop reading magazines. Can you believe that I read magazines online? I haven’t touched a real magazine for a long time now. Subscribing to a magazine might be a good idea.

32. Break out from ruts. This has always worked for me. I try not to be predictable. I love to try a new approach everyday.

33. Stop watching the news. I rarely watch the news these days and I realize it didn’t matter if I didn’t know the full detail of the earthquake that hit China a few months ago. It didn’t make me less of a person.

34. Laugh till you cry. I have missed laughing hard. It’s difficult because I only laugh hard in front of people whom I am so comfortable with. Being in an environment where I don’t have a lot of time to spend with the people I have gone comfortable with, it’s really hard to get a dose of a healthy laugh regularly.

35. Lose control. I am guilty of trying to be always in control. I’m always in control of myself and I even have this bad habit of controlling others. I will try not to have too much control on the things around me and let’s see if I remain sane.

36. Cry. I love to cry. It’s my way of cleansing.

37. Make an awesome dessert. I love to make desserts for Mhark. Especially when I see that he’s been into a lot of stress. His favorite is mango float. I’m making one this weekend! ^-^

38. Try something new, every week. I promise to try a new dish every week. I’ll finally use the cookbook you bought for me, Mahal.

39. Be in the moment. I have always been a worrier. I worry about the past. I worry about the future. By worrying too much, I actually miss the present. This, too, shall change.

Remembering An Angel...

Two months on my womb...

Was it enough? Have you served God's purpose even though you haven't seen the sunshine yet? I couldn't understand why but I am trying to...

I miss you... There are nights when you join me in my dreams. Such lovely dreams to have you there, I sometimes do not want to wake up!

I often wonder how you would have looked like. Would you have gotten my curly hair? My eyes? Your dad's nose (I hope!)? My lips... Your dad's height? Were you a he or a she?

I would've named you Paris Ysobelle if you were a girl and Phoenix Matthew if you were a boy. I would've loved you no matter what...

I shed tears everytime I remember you. I've stopped blaming the radiologist for not running an ultrasound on you immediately. I stopped blaming even myself. No one wanted that tragedy to happen. Not even your jealous Aunts... All of us were excited to welcome you to the world!

Eventhough I haven't held you to my bosom, I feel you close to my heart. Although I haven't sang lullabies to you, I have a song only for you. Although I haven't changed your diapers, I have so much love for you. My little angel, rest well. Enjoy your dwell in heaven and look over Mommy and Daddy, okay?

Two years ago, I thought lost you forever. Now, I realized, I've kept you forever!

Stranded

It didn't stop raining yesterday. My husband and I woke up having a shower in bed. The strong wind enabled the rainwater to enter our bedroom. And there was no electricity!

I was supposed to run some errands yesterday: go to Bambang to buy scrub suits for my Mom, go to Ongpin to buy Glutathione pills for Ate Leda and check the price of a ceramic iron at Watson. I also was supposed to have a lunch date with Ate Girl and the kids at Yellow Cab in Alabang Town Center. But the rain didn't let me leave home.

My husband and I were stranded inside our house. We learned how to make a meal from what's left in the cupboard. We had ground pork, tomato sauce in basil, potatoes and sayote. Viola! I made a "pacham" meal... And Mhark liked it very much. ^-^

The current finally went back. So we watched tv. After gotten tired of the Sunday shows, Mhark went back to his review materials while I turned the laptop on and did my thing.

In between his review and my net surfing, we'd exchange kisses and hugs and sweet stuff.

Later, we realized that it doesn't happen very often that we stay at home together one whole day. No basketball games for Mhark and no weekend girlfriend dates for me. We're actually glad we got stranded. We were together, anyways...

One Stormy Saturday...

I had it on my planner. Saturday, June 21st, Swimming in Batangas with Ate Girl and the kids

Since Tuesday, I had been waiting for the weekend to come. I even made a big deal about it when Mhark told me he's not coming along. I can't let anything spoil that plan.

We will go to Batangas and would enjoy the day!!!

I haven't watched much tv these past few days so I had no idea that a storm was going to hit Batangas (signal number 3) by weekend. Duh!

Friday night, I couldn't sleep. I experienced a urinary discomfort and a classic case of dispepsia. Grrr! Seems to me that every thing on earth has a plan to spoil my weekend getaway plan! I slept at 3am. I needed to wake up before 6am.

Even with barely three hours of sleep, I managed to wake up early. I called up my Ate GIrl in panic mode because it was raining so hard. I wanted that getaway so badly!!!

It was a good thing that my Ate decided to wait for us before they head for Batangas. So, the earlier plan of leaving at 7am was moved to 9am.

Then we started our journey amidst the rain, traffic and the fog in Tagaytay. But we managed to arrive safe in Nasugbu after more than two hours of risky SUV ride.(Special thanks to AL) Finally!

When we reached Nasugbu, it finally stopped raining and the sun came up. Wow! We get to enjoy the brown beach and the strong waves along the shore.

It was Vanessa's first sight of a beach and first experience of the sea. At first, she was very scared. Then, she labeled the seawater as "maanghang", "malasa" and then, "lasang adobo". Hahaha! The sea was scarier because of the angry Batangueno waves hitting us with so much strength. Good thing Mhark thought of a way for Vanessa to feel that she's more powerful than the waves. She may slap or kick them. "Pinalo ko sila!" she gleefully announced.

When we invited her to the pool, she refused. She liked the sea better. But we have somehow convinced her to go to the pool area where she tried the slide midway. She was so scared. I know. I felt her heart thumping while I was setting her on the slide. She slid to the water and that was the last time she did it. She refused for a second try even with reassurance that we would not let her have a bad fall.

All of us remembered childhood as we played with the angry waves. We screamed our lungs out. My sister and I would hug each other when a big angry wave comes to sweep us off. Oh, how I miss hugging my sister! Thanks to the waves, we hugged a lot in a day.

We rented a volleyball and played some in the beach. I just remembered why I wouldn't join volleyball games even way back. It hurt my arms with every serving I make.

The food and drinks were flooding. Goldilock's Ube Cake, pork chop roasts, pancit guisado, chicken-pork adobo, unlimited rice, sweet kakanin, fruits, chips, sodas and even beer.. We still had a lot of food on our way back to the Metro.

It rained again as we headed back home. But we've had enough of the sun. We enjoyed the five-hour clear skies... This is one stormy Saturday to remember. A good send off for my sister who's going back to Daly City on Tuesday.

I Will Manage... ^-^

I came out of the office alive last night. It was such a great relief. I thought I wouldn't make it but I did.

Veeya said she's proud of me. It so nice to hear such a comment from the mutated queen bee. Hehehe! [Luvz u, Vee!] ;)

I've also realized that I've become a mutant myself. A super-wife/career woman in the making. Duh! Enough!

I'm having the same workload today. But I'm confident that I will manage. Ciao! ;)

A Hectic Week Ahead...

Is this the price of being reliable? Of trying to excel in this field? I find it flattering but at the same time, I feel abused...

My achiever side tells me that I can carry it well. I just need a little sprinkle of positivism and try to outdo myself... My quitter side tells me otherwise. Will I take the challenge or take a detour?

Find out next week...

I might not have the time to update you during the weekdays. Haaayz! Tough week ahead! :(

The Concept of Cellular Memory

I was watching the Tyra Banks Show today and Jessica Alba was its guest. She's still gorgeous and hot and an expecting mom. ^-^ I envy her. I'm going to be like her - sexy, hot expecting momma soon!

She promoted her newest movie, "The Eye", which she described as "a scary movie without the gore". In the movie, she played a blind musician who was given a corneal transplant. After the transplant, she started "seeing" weird things that led her to believe she was going crazy.

One concept that the movie uses to explain the "visions" is "cellular memory". This concept hypothesize that memories are not only stored in the brains but also in the receptor cells of our body. Freaky, right?

This brings further explanation about heart transplant recipients falling inlove with the same people that the donor used to love. Now, I'm having goosebumps...

A liver transplant recipient graced the show to prove that he experienced something weird after he received his new liver. He narrated that he used to have a "sweet tooth". But after the transplant, he totally lost his taste for sweets and find a liking for spaghetti. It's really freaky for him because he didn't like spaghetti before.

Tyra and her staff were able to contact the family of the donor. The donor was a teener who died of an accident. They found out that he didn't like sweets and his favorite food was--guess what?

-------------
Spaghetti! Scary, huh?!

Possessive

You are the poem I cannot write
You're the reality that's deep inside
You brought me a feeling I cannot fight
In the darkness, you stand as my guide

You are the song I cannot sing
You are my servant, you are my king!
In my life, it's only you that can mean
Open my heart, it's filled with your name

You are the dance I can't perform
You are my shelter in the midst of storm
I can never take the idea of having you gone
I wish you'd ask me to marry you soon...

All papers won't be enough to write on
To sing, I couldn't find the perfect tune
I wouldn't want to sell you as I perform
Anyway, nobody would ever understand...

This is the mushiest poem I did for Mhark. ^-^ I wrote it during a practice for a pageant. It turned out to be our monthsary and I didn't have a gift for him. That's why I came up with this mushy poem. ^-^ I like it because it's very innocent and young...

The Toothpaste Experiment

It's a reunion for John, Vee and me. It was sad because Dessa wasn't there. She's resigned from CBB and I wonder why she hasn't responded to any of my messages yet. Is she busy? Hmmm... Dess, we miss you badly!

Our fave spot for late night talks: Manang's Carinderia. The bulaluhan that we love so much. But when the topic gets deeper, who needs Starbucks? ^-^

Blame it to my intense desire to please Mhark, we touched a very sensitive topic for the first time. It was hilarious when Vee asked me that question. I found it very difficult to answer. "Am I going to admit that I do it infront of John???" Hahaha! Veeya was so amused because she read panic in my eyes.

That's where the suggestion of experimenting with a toothpaste came about. Hmmm... I probably should do it... *wink*

At one point in our discussion, I did cry. I realized how poorly I have been performing my wifely duties. That's because I do it only because I felt obligated. They told me to be "there".

But can you blame me? Mhark's my first and my only... If I learn something, I learned it from him...

So the talk turned out to be an educational discussion for me. John and Veeya deserve to receive professional fees from me. ^-^

Thanks, guys! We had the most amazing post-birthday celebration. I owe you big time. *wink*

My First Taste of Kimchi and Soju...

Yesterday was a very long day for me. Let me tell you in details.

Minutes to go before midnight, Vee and I are crossing EDSA when I suddenly felt better from a two-day stomach upset. I told Vee I am hungry and I want to eat at our favorite Bulaluhan. She said yes. Although we knew we had a lunch meeting the next day with our Korean Boss, we still stayed at the Bulaluhan until past three in the morning. Again, we were talking about things and life and the shallow things that we like to dig deeper.

I reached home at around four in the morning. Mhark wouldn't let me sleep until I get a look at the esquise problem that they had the day before. I said I am too sleepy and needs to get up early. He got upset because he thought I wanted to spend more time with other people. I was a bit flattered. He doesn't show his jealousy that often. So I felt needed and gladly offered myself. I was able to sleep past five.

At nine, my mobile phone was already running wild from the messages that I got from the people who want to tell me to have a nice weekend. But I was too sleepy to get the message. Mhark took the messages for me. One of the messages he got was from Vee telling me to meet her at the office at 11:30am. Mhark thought I would make it if he wakes me up at 11:00. Can you imagine? I won't even finish washing my hair with such a short time! Crazy husband!! Good thing I woke up at 10:30am. And of course even if I did things hurriedly, I wasn't able to catch the call time.

I was late for twenty minutes! I was so embarrassed when I saw Mr. No was also at the office. I thought it was only Mang Mar (his driver) who was going to pick us up. Although generally, Koreans are very impatient when it comes to Filipino time, Mr. No was an exception. Maybe his exposure to American culture taught him to be flexible and all. Mr. No is very charming, considering his status. He's like no other boss. He's approachable and fun to be with. Even so, you will still look up to him because he looks so dignified.

He brought us to a Korean restaurant in Kapitolyo, Pasig. While in the car, he kept asking us if we've already tasted any Korean dish and Vee and I said no. We asked him if there are Korean dishes that aren't spicy. He said yes. It is a common misconception that all Korean food are hot. When it was already time for us to order, Vee and I let him choose the food for us. We told him we trusted him to make the better choice for us.

He ordered Bulgogi, Jap Che, Bibimbap and another noodle dish. Before the maindishes, a lot of side dishes were served: Kimchi, Kimchijeon, Kongnamul, Doraji Saengchae and other boiled vegetables. I love them all! I especially love Kimchi! Ah, we had another serving of it. Another first time for me is to use metal chopsticks. I'm used to the wooden chopsticks. But I was able to use it to have my first taste of Kimchi...


Before we ended our sumptuous meal, we had a bottle of Soju, the popular green bottle we see in Koreanovelas. Yes, I had three sips and a gulpful of it! It tasted like vodka so I was able to tolerate it. It stronger to the cruiser that I am used to, though. It left me a little tipsy and a lot more bubbly.

Mr. No thought I needed some coffee so we had coffee at Starbucks for a few more hours. We had dolce de leche frappuccino. Super! I went out of the coffee shop a sober person...

We went home at five in the afternoon and I was in such a hurry because I still had to go to my sister's place (they arrived from California yesterday and I thought they were arriving today). We reached Almanza past seven pm and I saw Vince first. Later, I saw my sister and and Vanessa.


We took Vanessa with us to buy some grocery at the Southmall. Hey, don't ever plan on bringing your kid shopping. Chances are, you don't get where you're supposed to go. Vanessa was so excited to see Storyland. she wanted to be in the rides. She especially asked Mhark to join her in a rollercoaster ride. We left the mall at its closing time. No groceries at hand but some tokens that were not used up. We'll continue with the rides and arcades the next day...

We reached home at 11pm. My Kuya Red arrived from Zamboanga. I cooked a late-night dinner for him. I got to chat with him a little bit. I climbed to bed at 1am... Whew, what a day it was! So full and yet it seemed not enough...