My father died on December 28, 2001 - Innocents' Day. Barely three days after christmas, and four days of being out from a private room at Zamboanga Doctors' Hospital...
I wasn't at home when the tragedy happened. I went to our hometown, Naga to spend the rest of the holidays there. See, my eldest sister and I had an argument and I left to prevent anymore confrontation with her. When my sister was scolding me, I could see my father protesting from the side of my eyes. And when I kissed him goodbye, I had no idea it was going to be the last time I will kiss him, he held my hand so tightly, not letting go... But then, I followed my stubborn instinct and left anyway...
I wasn't at home when the tragedy happened. I went to our hometown, Naga to spend the rest of the holidays there. See, my eldest sister and I had an argument and I left to prevent anymore confrontation with her. When my sister was scolding me, I could see my father protesting from the side of my eyes. And when I kissed him goodbye, I had no idea it was going to be the last time I will kiss him, he held my hand so tightly, not letting go... But then, I followed my stubborn instinct and left anyway...
My father had been bedridden for a year and a half before he died. His memory and physical strength deteriorated when he experienced a severe stroke. It was difficult for me to handle that because I have been so attached to my dad, without being too aware of that fact.
I thought I hated his strict and sometimes even cruel ways of disciplining us. I thought I didn't like it when he throws some corney jokes at the dinner table...
I thought I hated him for repeating those lectures about life over and over that continuously would shrink my self-esteem.
I thought I hated his way of molding me into the person that I have become!
Now, I'm beginning to realize that the way I grew up to be has a greater influence at what values he had inculcated in me. And I'm grateful for all the teachings and the legacy he had left me with.
Remembering my dad...
I remember a spoiler who would save the leanest meat, the ever-sought-after bangus belly, the best seat at the dinner table and a space on his bed, all for his youngest daughter!
I remember a protector who prematurely lectured an 8 year-old girl about fornication, child abuse and std's with a warning not to allow those things to ever happen to her.
I remember a disciplinarian who believes that a fine lady is neither a glutton or a cleptomaniac and should be a virgin bride.
I remember a storyteller who told a various of humbling experiences. A dreamer who dreamt only of the best for his children!
Tay, I hope I didn't fail you. I remembered all your teachings and I try to live with your expectations.
Remember Mhark? We recently got married. Wish you were here to walk me down the aisle. I kept my word... I promised you I would marry a Tagalog. I'm proud to tell you that I offered myself to only one man, as you have always reminded me. I wrote a short story about Bok.. You would have been proud of me. It was published in our university magazine, along with all the articles I submitted. Well, I got my journalistic skills from you... Don't worry, I will continue to write. Too sad, though, now that I'm married, I would be changing my name and your name won't be reflected anymore in the byline. But don't worry, I would always associate your name with mine and it would make you happy just the same.
I miss you.. Now, I don't have someone to ask whenever I encounter new, unfamiliar words. I don't have someone to discuss politics and current events with. I don't have someone to share hot coffee with because Mhark isn't so fond of coffee... I will treasure all the lessons you taught me and all the memories we shared. I love you more than you ever knew... More than I ever knew!
I thought I hated his way of molding me into the person that I have become!
Now, I'm beginning to realize that the way I grew up to be has a greater influence at what values he had inculcated in me. And I'm grateful for all the teachings and the legacy he had left me with.
Remembering my dad...
I remember a spoiler who would save the leanest meat, the ever-sought-after bangus belly, the best seat at the dinner table and a space on his bed, all for his youngest daughter!
I remember a protector who prematurely lectured an 8 year-old girl about fornication, child abuse and std's with a warning not to allow those things to ever happen to her.
I remember a disciplinarian who believes that a fine lady is neither a glutton or a cleptomaniac and should be a virgin bride.
I remember a storyteller who told a various of humbling experiences. A dreamer who dreamt only of the best for his children!
Tay, I hope I didn't fail you. I remembered all your teachings and I try to live with your expectations.
Remember Mhark? We recently got married. Wish you were here to walk me down the aisle. I kept my word... I promised you I would marry a Tagalog. I'm proud to tell you that I offered myself to only one man, as you have always reminded me. I wrote a short story about Bok.. You would have been proud of me. It was published in our university magazine, along with all the articles I submitted. Well, I got my journalistic skills from you... Don't worry, I will continue to write. Too sad, though, now that I'm married, I would be changing my name and your name won't be reflected anymore in the byline. But don't worry, I would always associate your name with mine and it would make you happy just the same.
I miss you.. Now, I don't have someone to ask whenever I encounter new, unfamiliar words. I don't have someone to discuss politics and current events with. I don't have someone to share hot coffee with because Mhark isn't so fond of coffee... I will treasure all the lessons you taught me and all the memories we shared. I love you more than you ever knew... More than I ever knew!
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