JUST A THOUGHT:
I miss the laid-back life in the countryside though I have also learned to love the adrenaline rush in the city. I miss Naga, its people and the superstitions we used to see as "laws" that if we break them, we'll be doomed. I miss my innocence, my ignorance and my youth!
My innocence. Yes, in my whole stay in Naga, I was innocent the whole time. I haven't known a man's touch then. I had boyfriends but I didn't get intimate with any one of them. {Hahaha! As if there were a lot of them! I only had two past bf's.} Another point of innocence. Back then, I chose not to mind the people who sabotaged me or those who spread bitter gripes about me. I believed in the principle: What you don't know won't hurt you. So it was my friends and allies who took the battle for me because I chose not to fight back against these detractors. When I transferred to Zamboanga, I only had myself to turn to. I didn't bring along my fans with me, you know. And these chavacano bullies really unleashed the little monster in me. Haha! That's when I learned to be vigilant of the people around me. I wanted to protect myself from these bullies who were good at backbiting as well as face-to-face slandering. So, I let go of my innocence and ignorance.
When I was in Naga, I was too trusting. Since we know everybody in the neighborhood, there is no reason to be cynical and paranoid. We know we could trust our neighbors. But that's not the thing in the city. The people who always show their nice sides could only be putting on a show. So I learned to be careful, cynical and sometimes, paranoid. I opened my eyes and ears, and I always wear an alert mind even in sleep.
My youth... I miss it. I was active in the academic subjects, in extra-curricular activities and I still had time for friends and church. That's because there were no tv's, no laptops, no malls and no traffic jams to waste my time on. There are only my school, other schools, community projects, beauty pageants, and church organizations to be busy about. I could stay as late as 4am the next day and still manage to wake up as early as 7am, just in time to attend my classes. But now? I see to it that I get at least 6 hours sleep or I'd get foggy the next day. Technology and smog are really toxic to one's state of mind.
Although opportunities are endless here in the city, the amount of joy that the simple life of my hometown is incomparable. I wish I could spend at least 2 vacation weeks back in Naga by next year...
Genie, are you there? Can you please grant me this wish?
My innocence. Yes, in my whole stay in Naga, I was innocent the whole time. I haven't known a man's touch then. I had boyfriends but I didn't get intimate with any one of them. {Hahaha! As if there were a lot of them! I only had two past bf's.} Another point of innocence. Back then, I chose not to mind the people who sabotaged me or those who spread bitter gripes about me. I believed in the principle: What you don't know won't hurt you. So it was my friends and allies who took the battle for me because I chose not to fight back against these detractors. When I transferred to Zamboanga, I only had myself to turn to. I didn't bring along my fans with me, you know. And these chavacano bullies really unleashed the little monster in me. Haha! That's when I learned to be vigilant of the people around me. I wanted to protect myself from these bullies who were good at backbiting as well as face-to-face slandering. So, I let go of my innocence and ignorance.
When I was in Naga, I was too trusting. Since we know everybody in the neighborhood, there is no reason to be cynical and paranoid. We know we could trust our neighbors. But that's not the thing in the city. The people who always show their nice sides could only be putting on a show. So I learned to be careful, cynical and sometimes, paranoid. I opened my eyes and ears, and I always wear an alert mind even in sleep.
My youth... I miss it. I was active in the academic subjects, in extra-curricular activities and I still had time for friends and church. That's because there were no tv's, no laptops, no malls and no traffic jams to waste my time on. There are only my school, other schools, community projects, beauty pageants, and church organizations to be busy about. I could stay as late as 4am the next day and still manage to wake up as early as 7am, just in time to attend my classes. But now? I see to it that I get at least 6 hours sleep or I'd get foggy the next day. Technology and smog are really toxic to one's state of mind.
Although opportunities are endless here in the city, the amount of joy that the simple life of my hometown is incomparable. I wish I could spend at least 2 vacation weeks back in Naga by next year...
Genie, are you there? Can you please grant me this wish?
3 comments:
I miss my innocence and my youth too! Darn it! I am even close to tears just admitting it to myself. Those were the good old days.... Polluted na kasi utak ko ngayon. Walang sinabe ang ilog pasig...hehehe....
the life in the barrio is something that i also miss; now that i am living in the rush of city life. i miss the morning breeze and waking up at 4am and witnessing the sunrise at past 5am. now, my earliest rise is at 10am on weekdays and as late as 3pm on weekends. imagine?!
I really miss my ignorance. Focus on the word: ignorance; meaning, not knowing what you are supposed to know. YOu know why? I missed the great joy of knowing things the first time! The first time I flew in a plane. The first time I used the elevator. The first time I turned a computer on. The first time I answered a telephone call. Hahaha! Such glorious moments which are now taken for granted. When you know a higher level of learning, you can't go back anymore. Once, you learn something, you can never unlearn them And I miss not knowing these simple things that could bring so much joy. Now, I can only shrug my shoulders over these things and it's pretty sad not to remember the feeling anymore. I think I need to make another post for this. My reaction has gone unexcusably lengthy...
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