My Heart's Desire

It's funny how people jump to conclusions after seeing only one side of the coin. The whole ordeal with my current marital struggles had made me realize that many people find it easy to feed on others' miseries just to make themselves feel good and think that they are better persons than the others.

I have heard many solicited and unsolicited advice from people of different walks of life and have come to this conclusive thought. At the end of the day, the most important thing to worry about is whether I have pleased God and myself. It is not about pleasing these contradicting people with clashing thoughts.

After much contemplation, I have come up with an answer to my question, "What does my heart truly desire for?"

My heart's ultimate desire is that...

I'd still want to grow old with you and stay in love with you 'til then. I'd want to see Yeshua graduate from high school and there we are, sitting in the seats reserved for Parents of the Graduates. He'll receive the highest honors and I would let you award him his medals while I oblige myself to take photos while both of you are on the stage.

I'd still want to "kill" you on our arguments over petty things such as your choices which I'd always regard to as impractical and totally unwise, your sense of time which is either 30 minutes earlier or later, your priorities which I'd always think of as unfair and selfish...

I'd still want to nag you for being late in fetching me, going to basketball games for long period of hours, playing NBA Live way too long, playing generals way too often, going out with Marvin instead of me, and for not buying me a gift nor writing me a note on our monthsary.

I'd still want to throw tantrums at you for choosing the wrong combo meal or drink for me, for not buying me the fruit I requested for, for not responding to my text messages immediately, for not taking my calls, for forgetting to kiss my tummy before you leave, for not agreeing with me, or for telling me white lies.

I'd still want to have wild and passionate lovemaking with you, sweet cuddling in front of the television (and fighting over the choice of channels), butterfly kisses and morning tickles to wake me up each day.

I'd still want to hear your monotonous singing voice on our videoke sessions, your husky bedroom voice when you try to seduce me, your thunderous shouting when you're pretty angry at me, your loud snoring that wakes me up in the middle of the night, and your laughter whenever I crack jokes or when you get me really pestered with your pranks.

I'd still want to feel your embraces coming from behind as we both doze off to sleep or when you see me cooking for you.

I'd still want to share your frustrations, your excitement, your anger, and your plate even though you get to mix all the foodstuff in it.

I'd still want to see the desire in your eyes each time you see me fresh from the shower and applying lotion on my skin while wearing my matching undies.I'd see you literally drooling and I would run back to the bathroom, so consumed by your sexual energy. I'd still want to feel frightened, overwhelmed, shy, and excited all at the same time.

I'd still want us to reminisce together the first day we met, our first date, our first rainy encounter, our first lovemaking, our first fight, the first time you proposed marriage to me and the first time we were ever apart.

I'd still want to wear your ring that would tell all the guys to back off because I'm sooo married. ^_^

I'd still want to share a lifetime, an eternity with you, my one great love...

My heart's true desire is that I want to remain Mrs. MHARK S. PAITON till the day I die.