Consistently Inconsistent

It's really hard to deal with people who are inconsistent. I think they're the most difficult people to live with. But there's no way I can run away from this sort of people. So I guess I have to stop running and face them squarely. That is the way to conquer!

One of the few things I really abhor are people who would resort to trickery just to save their asses. Excuse me for the language, but I'm making a point here. Well, we can't prevent people from being sneaky and deceitful especially if these traits are their way by nature.

This is always my fault: I trust easily. I give my all in everything I do. I put so much passion in something that I believe in. And then, I become exploited. Still, I wait patiently until the other party realizes it. And then, I speak up and would still give chances. One, two, three...

And that would be the end of it. The other party might think that it won, but it's actually at the losing end. The other party won't win any more of my respect and loyalty. Boom, the other party lost a supposedly loyal follower.

I am loyal. Too loyal, even to some people who've done me wrong. But everything has its limits. I am part of that everything. I hate it when I look inconsistent because of the consistent inconsistencies of the other party. #30

Why Is It So Hard To Let Go?

I submitted my resignation about a week ago. I didn't put any reasons for my "irrevocable" resignation. Why? I didn't want my superiors to adjust to those reasons and I will be obliged to stay because of that.

However, when I talked to our HR manager, she asked me what my grievances are. And thinking that I should at least share it before I leave the company, I told her. I said that the schedule they are giving me is just impossible. Four and sometimes five consecutive classes with no interruptions. How can I deliver well? Well, I was able to deliver, true... But I wanted to give my students quality classes and sensible reports. I am very perfectionist when it comes to having the job done and I feel that I can deliver better if I am given a manageable schedule.

A meeting was called among my superiors. They discussed about my impending resignation. And they learned about my grievance. Then they asked if my schedule was adjusted, would I stay? But I still have another issue. I don't feel like I'm paid enough.

I receive the same amount as some of my colleague who have less workload than me. They said that my assignment to a new account which requires more qualification is actually a promotion. That should have somehow set me apart from the rest. Not that I am being a braggart. I just feel that I am under appreciated. One former colleague even quit because of the demands of the account that we are both handling. And she's handling only one third the number of the students that I have. Imagine??? She was getting more than what I am getting!

Call me inconsistent but the closer I get to the date of the effectivity of my resignation, the harder it gets for me to let go of the job. My students, whom I have learned to love, are so hard to leave. And there's a proposition to adjust my schedule and lessen my load and negotiate for a raise. So I am staying. For now...

Promises. I'm holding on to them at the moment. I will give a time lag of two weeks to see if these promises would materialize. And until then, I will keep this thought on my mind, "Why is it so hard to let go?" Or is it really?

Just Thinking Aloud...

I want to get rid of them... But I can't. They've become more than just a part of me. Now, I'm losing control. The anger, can it really grow this huge? The pain, can it really eat me whole? A lot of people tell me to let go. Really let go... Beyond the motives... Not just for a show... But how? I don't know where to start and how to go about. Everytime I try to move on, something keeps holding on. This is greater than a moster. It's like a haunting, restless spirit whose got monsterlike capabilities and gigantic powers. I am losing again. And I'm so confused. Isn't it true that we actually win when we accept defeat? Why don't I feel victorious? Over and over, I feel the pain. It doesn't subside. How I wish I haven't known these cruel people who keep putting me through these miseries. Is it possible? Can a phoenix rise from the ashes twice? Will I end up victorious? Do good guys always win in the end? I can't lose hope. I must stick to my faith. I will win against these monsters. I will win against these cruel people. Justice is always served to the selfish, thoughtless people. I can almost smell vistory. I can almost taste it!

A Busy Weekend...

Got home at 12 midnight of Friday (technically, Saturday). But I was able to sleep at 2am because our neighbor had a drinking party. I could hear the noise of the drunkards from our bedroom. Luckily, it rained at 2am, so the noisy drunkards had no choice but to call it a night. I woke up at 6am. With barely 4 hours of sleep, I took a shower. It was cold and I was groggy but I kept of thinking I was doing it for my niece. I am attending a Parent-Teacher's Conference at her school since I stand as her guardian while her parents are abroad.

I didn't know I had to wear a green shirt. So, I was the only one in pink in the Kindergarten group. How's that for starters? I thought I'd have a lousy time at the conference but it turned out fun! The directress of the school prepared some games -- mind ticklers, my favorite -- after the presentation of expectations by the parents. And the parents were really friendly and nice and in no time, camaraderie among the group became very evident.

I kinda like the atmosphere at Vanessa's school. Hmmm, How I wish I was attending my own daughter's PTC... After a simple snack at 11am, the conference ended.

I went back to the condo and invited Vince and Vanessa out. We went to Storyland of Southmall. We've brought Vanessa there. So I'm guessing Vince would also like to try it. I guessed it right. Vince radiated with glee when we entered Storyland. I let him and Vanessa ride the roller coaster together. I told him to take care of his sister. And he did. ^-^ I was so happy!

We left the mall at 5pm because Vince had an appointment with the dentist. Mhark and I headed back to our place to see the movie Hancock. What a nice movie! I liked it!

Eventhough I lacked sleep, I was alert the whole time. We went home at 9pm. We had dinner and we went to bed right after.

The next day, Mhark woke me up at 7:30am because we had to buy food at the market. We prepared breakfast together (ginisang taugi), ate it and then, he let me go back to sleep because I was really sleepy. I woke up at 2pm. I prepared lunch for him and then, I cleaned my nails and applied nail polish on them. Right after, I cleaned the house. Not thoroughly, though. I will remember next time to do the cleaning right before having my nail polish on. ^-^

Then, we attended a mass. The priest's sermon was about "thanking and thinking". Hmm, I kinda realized I wasn't giving a lot to others. This should change.

Then, we just bought ice cream and used it as a spread of a tasty bread. Yummy! I didn't like the idea of eating ice cream with bread but when Mhark let me try it, it simply tasted delicious!

Then, I checked my e-mails, my friendster accounts and my blogsites. I wasn't decided yet what to write or update but it took me 3 hours just browsing around... So I slept at 2am. That's why I woke up late today...

39 Ways to Live, and Not Merely Exist

Here’s an article that Via caught at http://www.dumblittleman.com/ which she decided to forward to me.

I decided to make my own notes in each item provided by the author.

1. Love. I’m already in love with my beloved husband. But a successful 10 years doesn’t guarantee eternal bliss. There would always be “idle” moments. I plan to fall in love again. With the same person I first fell in love with. Mhark, brace yourself! ^-^

2. Get outside. Saturdays and Sundays shouldn’t be spent at home. Mhark, that should change. I plan to go to Trinoma this weekend and explore it. I want to go about Intramuros and take pictures of it. I’d also spend quality time with my nephew and niece in Almanza.

3. Savor food. I’ve always felt that eating is an obligation so I tend not to enjoy it. The article made me realize that I have been missing a lot for eating too hurriedly. I’ll start to savor the taste of the food that I will eat starting this moment. Bon appetite to me! ^-^

4. Create a morning ritual. Since I wake up really late and I am not able to catch the sunrise anymore, maybe I will settle for another morning ritual. I plan to recite the rosary every morning. What a great way to start the day! ^-^

5. Take chances. Talking about taking chances, I want to try my luck in business. I’d probably also go into becoming a part-time real property consultant. With my charm? I’d probably sell tons of properties. ^-^

6. Follow excitement. It would be exciting to try SCUBA diving. (I envy Via…) Another thing that makes me excited is becoming pregnant. 2008 is the perfect year!

7. Find your passion. I have long known my passion and that’s journalism. I need to get some workshop in journalism, though. It’s the one thing that I have always planned to do but have never found the time and opportunity to pursue.

8. Get out of your cubicle. How I miss Dessa and our daily “dog walk” at Robinson’s. I’m just so glad that I was able to bring Via out of the building to buy food. It was the first time! And hope not the last…

9. Turn off the TV. Yes, I realized how television wastes my time. I’ve already cut the time I spend on tv. The only problem? My cyber addiction. Now, that’s another item.

10. Pull away from Internet. This is my biggest guilty pleasure. I need to develop control over this latest addiction. I need to cut down the time I spend blogging and surfing to two hours per day. Will I make it?

11. Travel. Destinations? Let’s start with Vigan and Sagada. Second Stop: Bohol, Cebu and Iloilo. Third Stop: Puerto Galera. Fourth Stop: Davao, Camiguin and Cagayan de Oro all in one trip. In three year’s time, I’d go for endless trips abroad – Asian cruise, European cruise and US tour. I’d bring Mhark with me, of course.

12. Rediscover what's important. These past few years, I have focused on the “side tracks” and lost track of the main road. That is bound to change. This weekend, I will spend time to search my soul and I’ll list down the five things that I consider most important in my life.

13. Eliminate everything else. Yes, I will eliminate first my anger toward my in-law family. After all, they are also my family, whether I like it or not. But maybe, it will take time for me to restore the love I used to give them.

14. Exercise. Yup. I need to exercise to get rid of my menstrual cramps. And also to get rid of the flabs that’s building in my abs.

15. Be positive. I should learn to recognize the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints and the reasons why I can't do something. Then, I should stop myself from dwelling too much on these thoughts. I must replace them with positive thoughts at once!

16. Open your heart. Heartaches from the past have made my heart become more careful about showing how I feel. It’s time to open again my heart to loving others unconditionally, without the paranoia that I am being used or something.

17. Kiss in the rain. The last time I got crazy in the rain with Mhark was more than 9 years ago. Can you imagine? I want to be crazy again. And since it’s the rainy season, watch out, Mhark for surprises that are bound to come your way.

18. Face your fears. My biggest fear? To feel a snake’s skin! To face that fear, I will go to Avalon Zoo and hold a snake in my arm. It’s safe because I heard the snakes there are not venomous.

19. When you suffer, suffer. Yes, I had been to this state lately. A lot of things to grief for have crossed my path. Good thing I have my family and friends who aided me through the ordeal. Thanks, guys! What I realized after suffering a great deal is that I became wiser and stronger!

20. Slow down. These past few days, I’ve always been on the run. I eat my brunch while on my way to work. It’s like I’m running and running but no one was running after me. Hahaha! It’s time to slow down. Savor the moments…

21. Touch humanity. I have enrolled myself to a charity group headed by Bo Sanchez and have pledged to send a small amount every month but I haven’t started giving yet. It’s been 6 months now and I haven’t given any amount yet. I felt so guilty. I’ll start sending my monthly pledge on Monday. That’s a promise!

22. Volunteer. I also plan to make time to spend a day of my week doing volunteer works for that charity. I still have to establish my contact, though. I hope to start it before July ends.

23. Play with children. I love to play with children. But it has been three years since I had played with the children. I left them in my hometown, Naga. Now that I have my nephew and niece to look after, I can go back to my favorite pastime: playing with kids!

24. Talk to old people. I have missed talking to my dad. Eversince stroke got him, I lost a teacher. I have to look for another elder whom I can have an intelligent talk with. I think I just found one – my Auntie Eliz! I will suggest a monthly date with her. I hope she agrees.

25. Learn new skills. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. It’s never too late to learn a new trick, right? But first, I need to buy a guitar!

26. Find spirituality. I have found it when I got depressed due to my feud with my in law family. Although it has always been in me, I realized that being busy with a lot of things stagnate my spirituality.

27. Take mini-retirements. Yes! Travel… travel… travel! World, prepare for our invasion!

28. Do nothing. This, I guess, is the hardest of all. I can’t imagine myself being silent for a long time, unless I’m asleep. It’s weird because many complain that I talk even in my sleep! Hahaha!

29. Stop playing video games. I play video games only when I’m with my nephew, Vince. It’s fun to play once in a while. What I think I should also cut is oversleeping. I have to wake up and work for my dreams! ^-^

30. Watch sunsets, daily. Sunsets. I always miss it because it is the time that I get so engrossed with work. Maybe I will find time on weekends.

31. Stop reading magazines. Can you believe that I read magazines online? I haven’t touched a real magazine for a long time now. Subscribing to a magazine might be a good idea.

32. Break out from ruts. This has always worked for me. I try not to be predictable. I love to try a new approach everyday.

33. Stop watching the news. I rarely watch the news these days and I realize it didn’t matter if I didn’t know the full detail of the earthquake that hit China a few months ago. It didn’t make me less of a person.

34. Laugh till you cry. I have missed laughing hard. It’s difficult because I only laugh hard in front of people whom I am so comfortable with. Being in an environment where I don’t have a lot of time to spend with the people I have gone comfortable with, it’s really hard to get a dose of a healthy laugh regularly.

35. Lose control. I am guilty of trying to be always in control. I’m always in control of myself and I even have this bad habit of controlling others. I will try not to have too much control on the things around me and let’s see if I remain sane.

36. Cry. I love to cry. It’s my way of cleansing.

37. Make an awesome dessert. I love to make desserts for Mhark. Especially when I see that he’s been into a lot of stress. His favorite is mango float. I’m making one this weekend! ^-^

38. Try something new, every week. I promise to try a new dish every week. I’ll finally use the cookbook you bought for me, Mahal.

39. Be in the moment. I have always been a worrier. I worry about the past. I worry about the future. By worrying too much, I actually miss the present. This, too, shall change.

Remembering An Angel...

Two months on my womb...

Was it enough? Have you served God's purpose even though you haven't seen the sunshine yet? I couldn't understand why but I am trying to...

I miss you... There are nights when you join me in my dreams. Such lovely dreams to have you there, I sometimes do not want to wake up!

I often wonder how you would have looked like. Would you have gotten my curly hair? My eyes? Your dad's nose (I hope!)? My lips... Your dad's height? Were you a he or a she?

I would've named you Paris Ysobelle if you were a girl and Phoenix Matthew if you were a boy. I would've loved you no matter what...

I shed tears everytime I remember you. I've stopped blaming the radiologist for not running an ultrasound on you immediately. I stopped blaming even myself. No one wanted that tragedy to happen. Not even your jealous Aunts... All of us were excited to welcome you to the world!

Eventhough I haven't held you to my bosom, I feel you close to my heart. Although I haven't sang lullabies to you, I have a song only for you. Although I haven't changed your diapers, I have so much love for you. My little angel, rest well. Enjoy your dwell in heaven and look over Mommy and Daddy, okay?

Two years ago, I thought lost you forever. Now, I realized, I've kept you forever!

Stranded

It didn't stop raining yesterday. My husband and I woke up having a shower in bed. The strong wind enabled the rainwater to enter our bedroom. And there was no electricity!

I was supposed to run some errands yesterday: go to Bambang to buy scrub suits for my Mom, go to Ongpin to buy Glutathione pills for Ate Leda and check the price of a ceramic iron at Watson. I also was supposed to have a lunch date with Ate Girl and the kids at Yellow Cab in Alabang Town Center. But the rain didn't let me leave home.

My husband and I were stranded inside our house. We learned how to make a meal from what's left in the cupboard. We had ground pork, tomato sauce in basil, potatoes and sayote. Viola! I made a "pacham" meal... And Mhark liked it very much. ^-^

The current finally went back. So we watched tv. After gotten tired of the Sunday shows, Mhark went back to his review materials while I turned the laptop on and did my thing.

In between his review and my net surfing, we'd exchange kisses and hugs and sweet stuff.

Later, we realized that it doesn't happen very often that we stay at home together one whole day. No basketball games for Mhark and no weekend girlfriend dates for me. We're actually glad we got stranded. We were together, anyways...

One Stormy Saturday...

I had it on my planner. Saturday, June 21st, Swimming in Batangas with Ate Girl and the kids

Since Tuesday, I had been waiting for the weekend to come. I even made a big deal about it when Mhark told me he's not coming along. I can't let anything spoil that plan.

We will go to Batangas and would enjoy the day!!!

I haven't watched much tv these past few days so I had no idea that a storm was going to hit Batangas (signal number 3) by weekend. Duh!

Friday night, I couldn't sleep. I experienced a urinary discomfort and a classic case of dispepsia. Grrr! Seems to me that every thing on earth has a plan to spoil my weekend getaway plan! I slept at 3am. I needed to wake up before 6am.

Even with barely three hours of sleep, I managed to wake up early. I called up my Ate GIrl in panic mode because it was raining so hard. I wanted that getaway so badly!!!

It was a good thing that my Ate decided to wait for us before they head for Batangas. So, the earlier plan of leaving at 7am was moved to 9am.

Then we started our journey amidst the rain, traffic and the fog in Tagaytay. But we managed to arrive safe in Nasugbu after more than two hours of risky SUV ride.(Special thanks to AL) Finally!

When we reached Nasugbu, it finally stopped raining and the sun came up. Wow! We get to enjoy the brown beach and the strong waves along the shore.

It was Vanessa's first sight of a beach and first experience of the sea. At first, she was very scared. Then, she labeled the seawater as "maanghang", "malasa" and then, "lasang adobo". Hahaha! The sea was scarier because of the angry Batangueno waves hitting us with so much strength. Good thing Mhark thought of a way for Vanessa to feel that she's more powerful than the waves. She may slap or kick them. "Pinalo ko sila!" she gleefully announced.

When we invited her to the pool, she refused. She liked the sea better. But we have somehow convinced her to go to the pool area where she tried the slide midway. She was so scared. I know. I felt her heart thumping while I was setting her on the slide. She slid to the water and that was the last time she did it. She refused for a second try even with reassurance that we would not let her have a bad fall.

All of us remembered childhood as we played with the angry waves. We screamed our lungs out. My sister and I would hug each other when a big angry wave comes to sweep us off. Oh, how I miss hugging my sister! Thanks to the waves, we hugged a lot in a day.

We rented a volleyball and played some in the beach. I just remembered why I wouldn't join volleyball games even way back. It hurt my arms with every serving I make.

The food and drinks were flooding. Goldilock's Ube Cake, pork chop roasts, pancit guisado, chicken-pork adobo, unlimited rice, sweet kakanin, fruits, chips, sodas and even beer.. We still had a lot of food on our way back to the Metro.

It rained again as we headed back home. But we've had enough of the sun. We enjoyed the five-hour clear skies... This is one stormy Saturday to remember. A good send off for my sister who's going back to Daly City on Tuesday.

I Will Manage... ^-^

I came out of the office alive last night. It was such a great relief. I thought I wouldn't make it but I did.

Veeya said she's proud of me. It so nice to hear such a comment from the mutated queen bee. Hehehe! [Luvz u, Vee!] ;)

I've also realized that I've become a mutant myself. A super-wife/career woman in the making. Duh! Enough!

I'm having the same workload today. But I'm confident that I will manage. Ciao! ;)

A Hectic Week Ahead...

Is this the price of being reliable? Of trying to excel in this field? I find it flattering but at the same time, I feel abused...

My achiever side tells me that I can carry it well. I just need a little sprinkle of positivism and try to outdo myself... My quitter side tells me otherwise. Will I take the challenge or take a detour?

Find out next week...

I might not have the time to update you during the weekdays. Haaayz! Tough week ahead! :(

The Concept of Cellular Memory

I was watching the Tyra Banks Show today and Jessica Alba was its guest. She's still gorgeous and hot and an expecting mom. ^-^ I envy her. I'm going to be like her - sexy, hot expecting momma soon!

She promoted her newest movie, "The Eye", which she described as "a scary movie without the gore". In the movie, she played a blind musician who was given a corneal transplant. After the transplant, she started "seeing" weird things that led her to believe she was going crazy.

One concept that the movie uses to explain the "visions" is "cellular memory". This concept hypothesize that memories are not only stored in the brains but also in the receptor cells of our body. Freaky, right?

This brings further explanation about heart transplant recipients falling inlove with the same people that the donor used to love. Now, I'm having goosebumps...

A liver transplant recipient graced the show to prove that he experienced something weird after he received his new liver. He narrated that he used to have a "sweet tooth". But after the transplant, he totally lost his taste for sweets and find a liking for spaghetti. It's really freaky for him because he didn't like spaghetti before.

Tyra and her staff were able to contact the family of the donor. The donor was a teener who died of an accident. They found out that he didn't like sweets and his favorite food was--guess what?

-------------
Spaghetti! Scary, huh?!

Possessive

You are the poem I cannot write
You're the reality that's deep inside
You brought me a feeling I cannot fight
In the darkness, you stand as my guide

You are the song I cannot sing
You are my servant, you are my king!
In my life, it's only you that can mean
Open my heart, it's filled with your name

You are the dance I can't perform
You are my shelter in the midst of storm
I can never take the idea of having you gone
I wish you'd ask me to marry you soon...

All papers won't be enough to write on
To sing, I couldn't find the perfect tune
I wouldn't want to sell you as I perform
Anyway, nobody would ever understand...

This is the mushiest poem I did for Mhark. ^-^ I wrote it during a practice for a pageant. It turned out to be our monthsary and I didn't have a gift for him. That's why I came up with this mushy poem. ^-^ I like it because it's very innocent and young...

The Toothpaste Experiment

It's a reunion for John, Vee and me. It was sad because Dessa wasn't there. She's resigned from CBB and I wonder why she hasn't responded to any of my messages yet. Is she busy? Hmmm... Dess, we miss you badly!

Our fave spot for late night talks: Manang's Carinderia. The bulaluhan that we love so much. But when the topic gets deeper, who needs Starbucks? ^-^

Blame it to my intense desire to please Mhark, we touched a very sensitive topic for the first time. It was hilarious when Vee asked me that question. I found it very difficult to answer. "Am I going to admit that I do it infront of John???" Hahaha! Veeya was so amused because she read panic in my eyes.

That's where the suggestion of experimenting with a toothpaste came about. Hmmm... I probably should do it... *wink*

At one point in our discussion, I did cry. I realized how poorly I have been performing my wifely duties. That's because I do it only because I felt obligated. They told me to be "there".

But can you blame me? Mhark's my first and my only... If I learn something, I learned it from him...

So the talk turned out to be an educational discussion for me. John and Veeya deserve to receive professional fees from me. ^-^

Thanks, guys! We had the most amazing post-birthday celebration. I owe you big time. *wink*

My First Taste of Kimchi and Soju...

Yesterday was a very long day for me. Let me tell you in details.

Minutes to go before midnight, Vee and I are crossing EDSA when I suddenly felt better from a two-day stomach upset. I told Vee I am hungry and I want to eat at our favorite Bulaluhan. She said yes. Although we knew we had a lunch meeting the next day with our Korean Boss, we still stayed at the Bulaluhan until past three in the morning. Again, we were talking about things and life and the shallow things that we like to dig deeper.

I reached home at around four in the morning. Mhark wouldn't let me sleep until I get a look at the esquise problem that they had the day before. I said I am too sleepy and needs to get up early. He got upset because he thought I wanted to spend more time with other people. I was a bit flattered. He doesn't show his jealousy that often. So I felt needed and gladly offered myself. I was able to sleep past five.

At nine, my mobile phone was already running wild from the messages that I got from the people who want to tell me to have a nice weekend. But I was too sleepy to get the message. Mhark took the messages for me. One of the messages he got was from Vee telling me to meet her at the office at 11:30am. Mhark thought I would make it if he wakes me up at 11:00. Can you imagine? I won't even finish washing my hair with such a short time! Crazy husband!! Good thing I woke up at 10:30am. And of course even if I did things hurriedly, I wasn't able to catch the call time.

I was late for twenty minutes! I was so embarrassed when I saw Mr. No was also at the office. I thought it was only Mang Mar (his driver) who was going to pick us up. Although generally, Koreans are very impatient when it comes to Filipino time, Mr. No was an exception. Maybe his exposure to American culture taught him to be flexible and all. Mr. No is very charming, considering his status. He's like no other boss. He's approachable and fun to be with. Even so, you will still look up to him because he looks so dignified.

He brought us to a Korean restaurant in Kapitolyo, Pasig. While in the car, he kept asking us if we've already tasted any Korean dish and Vee and I said no. We asked him if there are Korean dishes that aren't spicy. He said yes. It is a common misconception that all Korean food are hot. When it was already time for us to order, Vee and I let him choose the food for us. We told him we trusted him to make the better choice for us.

He ordered Bulgogi, Jap Che, Bibimbap and another noodle dish. Before the maindishes, a lot of side dishes were served: Kimchi, Kimchijeon, Kongnamul, Doraji Saengchae and other boiled vegetables. I love them all! I especially love Kimchi! Ah, we had another serving of it. Another first time for me is to use metal chopsticks. I'm used to the wooden chopsticks. But I was able to use it to have my first taste of Kimchi...


Before we ended our sumptuous meal, we had a bottle of Soju, the popular green bottle we see in Koreanovelas. Yes, I had three sips and a gulpful of it! It tasted like vodka so I was able to tolerate it. It stronger to the cruiser that I am used to, though. It left me a little tipsy and a lot more bubbly.

Mr. No thought I needed some coffee so we had coffee at Starbucks for a few more hours. We had dolce de leche frappuccino. Super! I went out of the coffee shop a sober person...

We went home at five in the afternoon and I was in such a hurry because I still had to go to my sister's place (they arrived from California yesterday and I thought they were arriving today). We reached Almanza past seven pm and I saw Vince first. Later, I saw my sister and and Vanessa.


We took Vanessa with us to buy some grocery at the Southmall. Hey, don't ever plan on bringing your kid shopping. Chances are, you don't get where you're supposed to go. Vanessa was so excited to see Storyland. she wanted to be in the rides. She especially asked Mhark to join her in a rollercoaster ride. We left the mall at its closing time. No groceries at hand but some tokens that were not used up. We'll continue with the rides and arcades the next day...

We reached home at 11pm. My Kuya Red arrived from Zamboanga. I cooked a late-night dinner for him. I got to chat with him a little bit. I climbed to bed at 1am... Whew, what a day it was! So full and yet it seemed not enough...

I'm With The MVP!

The proud wife won't settle down if she doesn't have a photo of herself holding the MVP trophy. One proud girl: "I'm with the MVP!" Shoo, shoo, girls!

It was our parish fiesta yesterday. And although Mhark's championship game happened two weeks ago, they were awarded only last night.

There was a small celebration at the basketball court and almost all the participants of the said league were there.

The camaraderie among the neighborhood in our village is really commendable . We've only moved in for 3 months now; and yet, we already feel like we grew up in this place... It is so different from the other neighborhood we've experienced in our three years of stay in Metro Manila.

I was very happy last night. I could see that Mhark was, too. Usually, Mhark gets sleepy at 10pm. It was surprising that he was able to stay up til past midnight.

Being an MVP, he deserves a reward. Hmm, he got his first installment of the reward last night. He's getting another one this evening. I'm preparing a ref cake for him. =)

The New Seven Deadly Sins Recently Added By The Vatican

1.) Polluting the environment - introducing contaminants into the environment.

2.) Genetic engineering - direct manipulation of an organism's genes using the techniques of molecular cloning and transformation.

3.) Being obscenely rich - being wealthy that's tending to moral looseness.

4.) Drug-dealing - the act of cultivation, manufacture, distribution and sale of illegal drugs or narcotics.

5.) Abortion (induced) - intentional termination of pregnancy.

6.) Pedophilia - sexual attraction to children.

7.) Causing social injustice - being unfair in judgment of fellow human beings.

The Seven Deadly Sins...

Don't leave fun girls in a workplace where there's plenty of idle time. Chances are, they'll eventually come up with a hilarious topic. That's what happened to us when we reported for work yesterday and found out that we had some connection problems. Ugh! Do I hear Yipee?!

Vee, Maica, Hazel, Daphne, Kimber, Cheryl and I went on an endless chat that started with Maica's high school experience about having difficulties praying "Hail Mary" in Tagalog. When we figured out what "Holy Mary" is in Tagalog, we started reciting some Catholic prayers in Tagalog. Only to find out that it was an absurd idea because we don't even know how to translate "Hail, Holy Queen".

Then we tried to evaluate ourselves if we would pass St. Peter's interrogations and if there was a chance that any of us would be allowed to enter heaven in our after-life. And so we started with the first checklist: The Seven Deadly Sins:

1.) Greed - Excessive desire to acquire or possess more (especially more material wealth) than one needs.

2.) Sloth - Apathy and inactivity in the practice of virtue (in other words, laziness)

3.) Gluttony - Eating or drinking in excess

4.) Wrath - Belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong (also, intense anger)

5.) Envy - Spite and resentment at seeing the success of another and a feeling of grudging admiration and desire to have something that is possessed by another (jealousy included in this category)

6.) Pride - Unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem

7.) Lust - Self-indulgent sexual desire

We found out that all of us have committed the seven deadly sins if to count not only the act itself but also those that we have committed in thoughts.

Coincidentally, there were also seven of us. So, I suggested that each of us pick something that we think is the sin that we mostly commit. Maica picked Gluttony, Daphne -- Wrath, Hazel -- Envy, Kim -- Pride, Cheryl -- Lust (we actually volunteered it for her), I picked Sloth and Veeya -- who was supposed to pick Greed (coz that's what's left for her to choose), we unanimously decided that she is our Queen Bee -- the mother of all queens of deadly sins! Hahaha!

We sure had a lot of fun as we continued to evaluate ourselves by using another instrument to gauge our sinfulness -- the 10 Commandments! Well, I'll tell you about it next post. I just realized that I'm supposed to be asleep now. It's almost 2am now. Hahaha!

I Survived!!!

It was such a full day for me. I thought I wouldn't leave the workplace alive. I took over four of my sick TL's classes. Good luck to me!

You should understand my panic. These guys are THE most delicate students - CEO's at that. Will I ever come out alive???

Well, after a stressful 9 hours spent at work plus an additional hour for making reports, I managed to still be kicking when I punched my finger at the biometrics. Out at 12 midnight... It's a good feeling to feel that my heart was still beating and that the blood was still moving around my body.

I still couldn't catch sleep, though. The adrenaline is still in my blood. I don't know what time it will stop being pumped to my system. Hey, brain, enough already!

I just want to go to bed now. So that I could get enough sleep after a stressful day. I do hope that TL will be back to work. I'm praying, Vee. With fingers crossed.

Get well really soon... How about tomorrow? *wink* Wabsyoo!

I Dread For Monday...

The weekend went too fast. Just a wink of an eye. Whew! I wanted it to go on and on... I'm dreading for Monday to come.

With my new assignment in a different account known as the most demanding, the most delicate account in our call center. Wish I could retract what I told our Boss when I sadi it is a challenge that I would be glad to be a part of. Waaaaah! Last week had been the most stressful in my entire stay at CBB.

Here comes Monday. Guess what?! My beauty queen TL was sick and unable to report for work...! Can I just take it off my chest??? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Vee, get well soon. I mean it as a friend and partly as your subordinate who's in panic mode. What a way to wean me eh? Barely 4 days of being in this account and suddenly...? I thought weaning was supposed to be gradual, not abrupt! Hehehe...

Oh, Vee, please take lots of Vitamin C and I hope your fever goes down this instant. I need you... need you... need you... Kulit, 'no?

I'm just sooo not ready for this. I wish there was an auto-pilot mode. Hehehe!

Happy Araw ng Naga!!!

Naga, my hometown, which I miss dearly, is celebrating Foundation Day today. Not even Bagyong Cosme could stop the tradition of the Naganian style of festivities. I'm sure there was a month-long basketball league with each of the 16 barangays vying for championship. Other sports widely played in Naga are table tennis, volleyball, lawn tennis and badminton. So I'm sure each had a league of their own.

One of the main events of Araw ng Naga is the Mutya ng Naga beauty pageant, where I am an alumna, being an honorary crown-holder for 1996 and 2002. No pageants happened in those years because of some conflicts between the local government and the previous organizers but I was appointed as the representative to Bb. Congrassional in 1996 and in Mutya ng Sibugay in 2002... I wonder who won last night? The pageant pushed through eventhough the storm left the open ground muddy. Ugh!

Another event that I would always anticipate every Araw ng Naga is the "Horse Fight" in the plaza of Naga Central Elementary School. It fascinated me so much at my young age. Being a tomboy and all, I guess I was one of the few female audience of the said fight.

In addition to these activities, we also have the annual parade led by the high school drum and bugle corps where I am a lyrist alumna. It will be followed by a friendly competition among Drum and Bugle Bands from various schools. Now, I heard that they've incorporated street dancing, cheer dance and choral competitions in the said affair.

I forgot to ask my insider if there was a carnival which usually builds their tents near the gym (which was sadly down in ashes now).

Picturing the series of events in my mind, I remember many faces. The faces of the people who have created a certain impact in my life. Those people who have partly molded me into who I am now. I miss them. I miss the genuine camaraderie, the sincere concern and the love of a real family. Wish I could join them next year.

Masadyang Araw ng Naga ninyong tanan diha! Gimingaw na gayod ko sa inyo hurot. Amping-amping lang...

Congrats!!!

I'm so proud of my MVP!

1.) Mayor's Cup - Violet Team: 2nd Placer, Men's Basketball. Jersey # 3: One of the Mythical Five Awardees...

2.) El Dorado League - Yellow Team: Champions, Men's Basketball. Jersey # 35: Hailed Most Valuable Player...

Mahal, I'm so happy about this additional milestone in your basketball career. I'm ecstatic more than you know. You think I abhor your achievements in basketball but I don't. I just want you to stay focused on the main path that you are supposed to travel. Basketball and other fun stuff are just sidetracks. Enjoy them while you still have the vigor. In a few years' time, you will have to give way to younger wannabes and hopefully, our future kids would emulate your passion for sports. Still, they should be able to balance studies and extra-curricular activities. I don't want a bunch of nerds for offspring; I want cool genius dudes and dudettes. Hehehe!

Busy again on Saturday eh? For another awarding ceremony! Hmmmm...

Onions

How powerful are you?
You can beat the brave
The strongest man on earth
Sending the tough to tears

Now, I am to challenge you
With me is a sharp knife
To stab you in the heart
And squeeze the juice out of you

I felt your blood in my hands
Soon, I smelled the scent of victory
I entered straight into my nose
And went into my eyes

Then you turned my eyes weepy
Liquid flowed out of my nose
Upon wiping them, I decided
How powerful you are!

Doom

Seated in solitude by the creek
With the moon in tears and moaning
Counting the stars so few
Cause clouds have stolen some to hide

The sky growled in pain
The underworld is celebrating
Soon, they'll be shed with blood
From the doom of a lonely soul

A star has fallen to the grounds
In it, a wish was sent
A wish that will begin and end
A stolid life of sufferings

The creature saw a sudden flash
Lightning struck her in the heart
Her body surrendered to eternity
And heavens poured in ecstasy

I Used To Love Fridays...

TGIF!? More like ONIF! to me these past weeks.

Friday used to be the day I like most. It's the last day of work and no matter how terrible that day could become, I feel that I can get through it with ease. The simple thought of being able to get ample sleep the next day is enough to get me through with it.

But last night, I had a difficult time going to sleep because I was anxious for Friday morning to come. I know that Mhark had to go to his review early in the morning and won't be back until after 9pm. I hate waking up in the morning to find Mhark not in bed with me, not in the room where I sleep, not at home!

I woke up rather early this morning because I wanted to enjoy him just for a few minutes before he goes to his whole day review in Manila.

Now, I'm having a difficult time going back to sleep. Friday sucks! It's not my favorite day anymore. And then starting the week after next until the end of June, I'd also start hating all the weekdays. Ugh!

Butterfly Kisses...

I think my husband has been reading too much of my blog. He's getting so many hints from here. He's taking all my entries too seriously.

Last Saturday, he filled my sleepy morning with tickles that I got really pissed off, REALLY pissed off. Hahaha! You know how a woman's scourn could go. Wahehehe!

Anyways, Sunday morning was different. He didn't tickle me even once. Did my violent reaction scare the heck out of him? Maybe because we were both tired from the weekend getaway in Calaca, Batangas.

Monday morning. I was already getting worried. I think grumpy Saturday killed my wake-up tickles. How sad! How can I make him revive them without becoming so inconsistent? Sure, they can become so annoying. But most of the time, especially when I'm not so tired from work, I kind of look forward to it.

Tuesday. Wednesday. Got so jaded. Maybe more jaded because my morning dose of some loving has faded.

Sadness became me... Only to find out this morning that my husband has just changed his strategy. He accidentally woke me up while filling my face with butterfly kisses -- on my nose, my eyes, my cheeks, my lips--!

How sweet! Well, I'm liking this new morning therapy instead. Overdose me with butterfly kisses, Mahal... I don't care! I love it. I love you...

One Dead Poet...

I was inspired to publish my poems here because I chanced upon them this weekend while I was cleaning my room. They looked sad and lonesome being imprisoned in stained papers where I've written them. So what the heck? I decided to free them!

The following are my composition about 10 to 15 years ago. So excuse the naivety, the idealism, the simplicity... Gawd, I am old! Hahaha! More poems to come in the next few days... I still have to dig them from my golden chest.

Morning

You give me light after darkness
Making me strong when I am weak
Helping me stand from the rest
You are an inspiration

You give colors to life
Making my world green, blue
Violet, red, brown and yellow
You kiss my day hello

You're something I can't live without
As special as you are to me
I can't imagine how to live
A life without you to brighten it

You drag me out from dreams
To help me work for it
Your kisses touched my heart
You are my dream come true!

The Welcome

I was again embraced
By that familiar breeze
Its sound produces rhythm
Harmoniously singing love

The autumn leaves fell
Leaving the trunk bare
They lay soft in my path
Serving as red carpet

It made me feel the princess
I had almost forgotten
Until the royal welcome
Made me remember

As I approach my throne
Its branches bowed
The leaves danced
To the wind's roaring tune

It was the kingdom
Which I have abandoned
Now, I came back
To reign it forever...

Gratitude

It's so nice to be a writer...
Memories will be reminisced
Dreams will be realized
Thoughts will be expressed
And I have the pen to control them.

I swam in the depth of thoughts
I traveled through the length of emotions
I ran around the endless meadows
I climbed the highest peak
And God was good to grant me my wish!

Brain Strokes and A Heart Attack!

Via just gave me a mild heart attack last Monday night. She said that she's recommending me for ESS and that our big boss in Manila will be calling me once he gets back from dinner. What?! Not that I'm clueless about the program. Via had been giving me some input for maybe a month now. My main concern is facing our boss. In my four months in this company, I managed to keep a low profile and I will find it a relief if my Korean boss has no idea who I am. The less that he knows about me, the better. You know how some bosses can pick on some employees that they know. Get what I mean?

So I was kinda praying that he would be busy after his dinner break and he will totally forget about calling for me. Haha! My prayer was answered.

Yesterday, Via gave me a brain stroke when she said that our big Boss wants to have a word with me. Uh-oh! Via said, "Ella, I need you to wear your American accent. Come on, you can do it. I have so much faith in you." Whoa! Aren't you adding up to the pressure, Vee???

While talking to our Korean big boss, I was trying really hard to keep my composure. I know how I suck at impressing the boss. And to top it all, he has this poker face -- so I have no idea if I impressed him or not. His last words, "Call Via".

When I left his office, I called for Via and told her that I think I didn't pass his standards. I might have overdone my accent. Have I? I told Via not to immediately let me know if the she will get a negative result.

A few minutes later, Via was ecstatic to tell me the result. Moment of truth -- I did it!

She gave me some materials to study because I will be speaking to our counterparts in Korea after 30 minutes. Oh, no! Two stroke attacks in a span of one hour. Is that healthy, Vee? I need to smoke because I was already having palpitations. After one cigarette, my palpitations was gone but I could feel constrictions in my veins. And that made it hard for me to breath. What the hell is happening to me?

Well, I did what I had to do. And I'm very thankful to my new TL who's wacky and extra supportive. How can she not be? She's the one who gave me brain strokes and a heart attack in the two days that passed!

I am now an ESS -- English Supporting Secretary. So the guys have heard. Many might have raised their eyebrows. What the heck? That's your eyebrows so you decide what to do with it! That's your prerogative--just like it's my prerogative to inject botox on your faces to put those eyebrows back to their original positions.

Vee, you're asking me how I feel? It's a mixture of ecstasy, nostalgia, tension, among other emotions that I cannot fully describe... But generally, I am simply glad! I miss Dess, Yani and John, though. And I also miss my students back in Junior Level 2. But I know I will love this new adventure with you. And I hope I can live up to your expectations. Help me out, okay? Newbie alert here!!!