Sorry, blog-readers if I haven't been able to update my blog. A blessing it was, indeed. 
But the blessing seems to be a "gain" wherein I needed pain in the process. (No pain, no gain, they say.) Hah! I know I have been wishing for this blessing for a long time now. 
Well, now that it's here, I came to a thought - "Be careful what you wish for..." 
Must be part of the psychological changes I have to undergo. Ambivalence. I want it 
yet I don't want it. 
I can't wait for it to grow yet I'm not ready for the changes that come along with it. I feel blessed yet somehow, I feel cursed. 
Why can't I have an enjoyable pregnancy just like my sisters had? 
I so envy women who experienced a wonderful process of pregnancy. Do I really need to suffer? 
In a day, I can't count how many times I had to go to the sink to throw up. 
I can't even eat what I want because my tummy feels sour. My tongue tastes sour, too. How I miss my appetite! 
I can't walk fast because my tummy feels heavy with air that doesn't seem to clear up no matter how shrekky I burp every now and then.
I can't put on my make-up. They cause more skin breakouts. And they smudge whenever I throw up and become teary-eyed and stuffy-nosed. Aaaah! 
There was a time when I couldn't even tolerate the smell of my powder.
I can't even enjoy a spray of my favorite heavenly scent by Victoria Secret because I can't tolerate the smell of it. My daily scent now is an oil combo of "mansanilla" and efficascent. Whew! 
I often cry because I pity myself. I miss my old chummy, bubbly self. My friends miss the old me, too. The only thing that keeps me going right now is the 
image of my woud-be baby in my head. If going through with this means my baby will survive inside my uterus for nine months, then I can live with it. 
Two of my pregnant friends also told me that the ordeal will last only for four months. So I have two more months to suffer. I'm halfway there. 
So guys, sorry if I'm not myself lately (I don't answer your ym messages and text messages). Please understand that a whole-day "sickness" got me. Two more months, they say, because today, my tummy just turned two months! 
