Sorry, blog-readers if I haven't been able to update my blog. A blessing it was, indeed. 
But the blessing seems to be a "gain" wherein I needed pain in the process. (No pain, no gain, they say.) Hah! I know I have been wishing for this blessing for a long time now. 
Well, now that it's here, I came to a thought - "Be careful what you wish for..." 
Must be part of the psychological changes I have to undergo. Ambivalence. I want it 
yet I don't want it. 
I can't wait for it to grow yet I'm not ready for the changes that come along with it. I feel blessed yet somehow, I feel cursed. 
Why can't I have an enjoyable pregnancy just like my sisters had? 
I so envy women who experienced a wonderful process of pregnancy. Do I really need to suffer? 
In a day, I can't count how many times I had to go to the sink to throw up. 
I can't even eat what I want because my tummy feels sour. My tongue tastes sour, too. How I miss my appetite! 
I can't walk fast because my tummy feels heavy with air that doesn't seem to clear up no matter how shrekky I burp every now and then.
I can't put on my make-up. They cause more skin breakouts. And they smudge whenever I throw up and become teary-eyed and stuffy-nosed. Aaaah! 
There was a time when I couldn't even tolerate the smell of my powder.
I can't even enjoy a spray of my favorite heavenly scent by Victoria Secret because I can't tolerate the smell of it. My daily scent now is an oil combo of "mansanilla" and efficascent. Whew! 
I often cry because I pity myself. I miss my old chummy, bubbly self. My friends miss the old me, too. The only thing that keeps me going right now is the 
image of my woud-be baby in my head. If going through with this means my baby will survive inside my uterus for nine months, then I can live with it. 
Two of my pregnant friends also told me that the ordeal will last only for four months. So I have two more months to suffer. I'm halfway there. 
So guys, sorry if I'm not myself lately (I don't answer your ym messages and text messages). Please understand that a whole-day "sickness" got me. Two more months, they say, because today, my tummy just turned two months! 
3 comments:
Hey, you're preggy na! Congratulations! Im happy for you, really! Napa-smile ako after reading this! Sana kame din ni hubby ko.... Oh btw, Im Ann, Darwin's wife! =)
Are you from Naga? My mom's from there too. I love that place, we used to go on vacation there. Oh well, its been ages, sana makabalik kame uli dun.
Congrats to you and your husband again! I'm wishing you a healthy pregnancy! Take extra care! =)
Hi, Ann! Nice to meet you. ^.^ Darwin used to be my schoolmate in WMSU and my classmate for less than a year at Claret. Yes, I'm from Naga, it's a small town in Zamboanga Sibugay. I heard of another place named Naga in Bicol. Which Naga are you from?
Thanks for dropping by and for wishing me well! I'm showering you with lots of baby dusts... Parating na rin yang sa inyo. ^.^
Hi, I enjoyed reading your posts. I really think you'll have a baby boy! When I was pregnant kasi with my son, I didn't have a difficult pregnancy--no morning sickness, vomitting, etc. BUT I was moody, easily got irritated. With my daughter, I was always happy, and I had the most wonderful pregnancy any woman can ever have! Anyway, cheers always, and remember that what you feel, your child also feels! Enjoy!
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